The following is a brief text conversation I had with my man a few minutes ago (you'll note he's saved as Eric Smith in my phone, so as not to be confused with all the other Erics I'm always getting texts from). Eric Smith : The gas station im [sic] at has a donkey fenced in a pen. You can place a quarter in a machine and get feed. Me : Oh, that's a blog post, baby. Please feed and send pic. Eric Smith : Baby, this is a business stop. No frills. [ translation: Kimberly. I am at work. With men. Big men. Full of sperm. I will not be feeding cute animals with my quarters. I'll be buying condoms in the bathroom because men think condoms are hilarious. ] Me : Well who's going to tell that to the hungry donkey? [ translation: I don't believe you and I want that picture! ] Eric Smith : Good question. There is also a llama. Me : Naturally. I bet the llama's hungry too. Eric Smith : Maybe it could eat the donkey? [ translation: you'