Skip to main content

Nothing Says "I Love You" Like...

...this guy


At least that's what I must have thought last year, when I took this picture as an homage to Valentine's Day.

Now before you go judging me, I spent that auspicious holiday with two of my very best friends, and neither of them was charmed into my bed with this token of affection. Dummies.

Even though his message is lewd and his eyes are a little wonky, I rather appreciate this guy's frank approach to a holiday that has been forever fraught with mixed Hallmark messages and trite platitudes etched into hearts with expiration dates.

Somewhat like the grinch, this guy's holiday comes without chocolates, it comes without flowers. It comes without jewelry and cards. But it comes, perhaps, with cold showers? I mean really. I can't imagine anything, heart or otherwise, growing three sizes at receiving this message.

Whatever. It's no big deal to me how people want to mark this day. I, for one, will be in the hospital this year. It doesn't sound that great, but it'll be a day dedicated to showing people I love how much they mean to me, and that's the way I like to spend Valentine's Day.

As I mentioned, last year I spent February 14th with two of my besties. We met in Austin for a girl's vacation, and we dedicated the time to working out differences,


strengthening our commitments to each other,


marking our bodies as proof of our affections,  


and promising each other we would do anything for love,


except that. We won't do that.

So you see? There's no reason to hate on this holiday. Nor is there any reason to put too much stock by what you do or don't receive from a loved one. Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about champagne and roses (well, maybe it should be about champagne because champagne is delicious). But it is a special day.

It's a special day because it provides an excuse to tell the special people in your life, 


It's a special day because even if you don't have a significant other,


and that's something to celebrate.

So join me in reframing this lover's holiday. 


Claim it as a holiday for people who love, for people who you love. And go ahead and say the things you don't say on the other days of the year because you aren't brave enough or you just don't take the time. You just go ahead. Even if all you find that all you really have to say is...

Is there really any better way to sell chicken?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

We're Off to the Icecapades! And Other Roads Paved With Cold Tears.

You know how your Great Aunt Margaret always looks at your baby's long fingers and says she's going to be a piano player? And how that guy bagging your groceries always tells you your slightly-taller-than-average boy is going to be a basketball player? Or how, when you accidentally leave the scissors on the counter and your toddler gets ahold of them, she's going to be a Monster Truck driver for three months because of that sweet mullet she gives herself? Well...I've got a long-legged African baby. And let me tell you, folks, she's destined to be a runner. At least that's what I've been told by no less than three thousand people in the last two years. If qualifying for the Olympics happened based on popular vote of the people, Ayana would have run last year. It would have been a staggering disappointment for Americans everywhere, but she'd have been there. (Shut up, fact checkers. I know the summer Olympics didn't happen last year.) But here&#

31 Things I Learned Before 32

Tomorrow, I turn 32. So with no more ado or fanfare than that, I share with you 31 things I've learned in 31 years of life. In no particular order and with no promised gravity. The Golden Rule doesn't ensure you'll get treated the way you wish to be treated. It just means you can sleep at night, knowing you did right. Sandal tans garner an inexplicable degree of respect and admiration. The book is always better than the movie. So all you book snobs out there can just hush up about it. We know. (Yes, I'm a total book snob. But I'm so snobby I don't even try the movie. You're welcome.) If you don't water the plants, the plants die. When you're going through some shit and people tell you, "I could never do what you doing," the appropriate response is: "Yes you could. You just haven't had to." Dog people have hair all over everything and cat peoples' houses smell funny (which is a nice way of saying bad ). Children a

When Your Daughter Isn't Turning Into You, But You're Turning Into Your Mother

And by you , of course   I mean me . So here's the story as it has been told to me over the years. For reasons that were undoubtedly religiously motivated, my mom decided she was going to home school my brother and me. She started with Jesse at whatever early age because he was reading in the womb and dividing cheerios in his highchair and blah, blah, blah. It was so much fun and he was so smart and remember the time he related the word sequel to the  Back to the Future series?! What a genius! What pure joy to watch this child learn! And then I came along. There are no stories about my great mental prowess, my clever anecdotes. There is only one story. The story that ends quite abruptly at, "And then I enrolled you both in school." Thinking on it now, I'm not sure we can even call it a story. It's really just a crude reenactment of a poor young child struggling to read the word bug . "B-U-G. B-U-G. You kept saying the sounds, but you just couldn't put