Skip to main content

A New Tradition [For Me. If You've Been Doing this Forever, Pin a Rose on Your Nose.]

You wouldn't know it from my loquacious bloggery, but as a writer I generally subscribe to the sentiment that less is more. Someone famous and writerly (please don't ask me to look up who) once said, "If I'd have had more time, I'd have written you a shorter letter."

Point being, it takes a lot of work to distill your thoughts. That's why poets get paid more than Bill Gates. (My dear poet friends, I heard you laugh all the way in Pitkin.) But we don't just stack sentence on top of sentence because we're lazy; sometimes, beneath the pile of articles and contractions and 5 dollar words, we're burying our truths.

And by sometimes, I mean during the holidays.

You know exactly what I mean now, don't you? Because there's no way I'm the only person with a distant uncle who sends out the itemized list of family accomplishments, followed by an awkward confession, followed by a didactic paragraph on the Reason for the Season.

Let me just say right now, I'm not down on this tradition. I think holiday letters are a lovely way of telling people you're thinking of them during the season. Photo cards will adorn my fridge for a year, only to be replaced by the latest installment. Cards will be hung from wire strung up my staircase, an always rotating decoration that makes me think of you.

But the letters. Oh, the letters. I come from a family who abides by the letter tradition. My dad puts his own spin on it though. No one gets the honor of having saved 60 souls on a mission trip or achieving highest honors in college (I did do that, but it never made it into a letter). Nope. Dad just says a few funny [see: rude] things about all of us, attaches a goofy picture, and goes on his Merry Christmas way.

I'm not sure this ever came to fruition, but last year's plan was to impose this goofy pic of dad onto the mantle behind the rest of us. If that did happen, that's hilarious and I'm impressed.

People seem to love Dad's letter. He actually gets calls and emails around Christmas time from people asking to still be on his letter list. They hem and haw about getting their own cards out, but one thing's for sure: they don't want to not read what the Yadon's haven't done this year.

Much as I'm proud of my dad's circulation (and perhaps a little jealous), all his funny words are not all that different from someone else's seasonal brag book--both have a way of masking that which is real. Which is fine. I don't think any of us want to deal with one Holidays on Ice style Christmas letter--let alone 30.

But I just can join in the sham. Not because I'm a terrible grinchy grinch, but because I'm a writer. A writer who wants to write you the shorter letter.

So here it is--my new holiday tradition: in the tradition of the six-word memoir, I'm going to write you a six-word holiday letter. My year, six words, your time saved.

Ready?

Set?

Found the treasure without the map.


That's my 2013, folks. I look very forward to hearing about yours. Send me your whole holiday letter in the mail. Send me your picture for the fridge. Write me your own six word letter. Whatever you do, know I'm thinking of you this season and wishing you a 2014 worth writing about!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In the Background

Judging by my Instagram feed, K-12 kids are starting back to school in CO. After approximately 18 years at home in 2020, some are headed back into the germy trenches and others are unsuccessfully logging into 26 different apps and carefully choosing which Zoom background will go with their new sweatpants. And the question for parents across the nation is: How are you feeling? That's a lob, right? Pretty damn terrible ought to cover it. No choice was a good choice and many (most?) didn't get to choose anyway. OK, sure. There's maybe two people reading this who think COVID is a hoax. Hey, guys. I see you. I'm glad you keep reading my blog even though we're really different people. I'm also glad you'll be able to enjoy your kid-free time for the first time in 6 months. Truly. Mazel tov. For the rest of us, it's a fraught day. And when I try to think of how to answer that question— How are you feeling?— all I can think is that this feels just like getting s...

We're Off to the Icecapades! And Other Roads Paved With Cold Tears.

You know how your Great Aunt Margaret always looks at your baby's long fingers and says she's going to be a piano player? And how that guy bagging your groceries always tells you your slightly-taller-than-average boy is going to be a basketball player? Or how, when you accidentally leave the scissors on the counter and your toddler gets ahold of them, she's going to be a Monster Truck driver for three months because of that sweet mullet she gives herself? Well...I've got a long-legged African baby. And let me tell you, folks, she's destined to be a runner. At least that's what I've been told by no less than three thousand people in the last two years. If qualifying for the Olympics happened based on popular vote of the people, Ayana would have run last year. It would have been a staggering disappointment for Americans everywhere, but she'd have been there. (Shut up, fact checkers. I know the summer Olympics didn't happen last year.) But here...

Ode to Ennui

Some years back, my friend and I discovered the word ennui. I don't mean it hadn't been in our vocabulary up that point. We were grown women. I had a child. We'd heard of it. But by some miracle, we hadn't experienced it yet. Or if we had, we didn't know it. But suddenly, there we were. Both in the throes of ennui—our only relief the bougie label we could attach to the feeling. Ennui felt grander than the doldrums or good old fashioned boredom with life. Ennui felt like something one could declare over a martini. Something one could use as a proper excuse for failing to bring a gift to a party. Or show up to the party at all. Something one could succumb  to. I'm not positive, but I think our mutual delight with the word itself pulled us out of the pit of despair. We enjoyed the idea of ennui so much that suddenly we had something to live for again. And when one has some thing worth living for, it's not such a leap to acknowledge that one has many  such thing...