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Here Comes the Bride...Again: A Thank You Note To, Well, YOU.

You can just shut your mouth right now about how long it's been since I've written a blog post, OK? You and I both know (after reading the title of this post) that I'm getting married. Soon. Like next weekend soon. So yeah, I've been busy.

That's a pretty combative way for a thank you note to start, isn't it? Maybe we should try again.

Hey, you.

I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me.

That's true, but it feels lame. It feels not enough. It feels empty and rote. So let's try again.

Hey, you.

Remember that time, like almost 10 years ago, when I got married? Remember how you were there and you were happy for me and your support and your gifts meant the world to me? Yeah. I remember that too. And I just want to say I'm sorry I squandered your well wishes and your time on a man who just wasn't the right one. I'm sorry I couldn't inject your love into a relationship in which love was never an option. 

I want you to know I tried; I really tried. I took my vows seriously and I did my level best to honor your commitment to that relationship. And to be honest, I don't think I failed. I know that's a really ballsy thing to say, but I mean it. I would be there today, doing my best, if I hadn't been given the gift of my freedom. That's just the kind of head-into-a-brick-wall kind of girl I am.

And then here you are, believing me. Acting like all that never happened. Here you are, jumping up to support me and love me all over again. Maybe it's because I have that gorgeous baby and you're just as happy as I am to see that now, officially, she will have a father who loves her to the absolute ends of the earth. Maybe you're a sucker for a long-shot love story and you just can't help but be swept away by the romance of it all. 

Yeah, maybe. But really, I think you're just amazing and forgiving and willing to set aside any prejudice or question. You're the kind of person who wishes the world (and the people in it) was perfect, but who can live with the reality of imperfection. You're the kind of person who goes out of your way to make me, the very personification of imperfection, feel whole and new and worthy of celebration.

So, thank you. You truly do mean the world to me.

Whether you knew me through all of that ugliness, or you've just heard about it in passing, or you're just now hearing that I have a sordid past--thank you. 

I've done my best not to keep my excitement in check. I bet it's coming as a real surprise to many of you that I'm even getting married in a week. I hope you know that's not because I didn't want to include you in my happiness, but because sadly, I didn't know what to do with my shame. 

And finally it occurred to me: you've been the example of what I should do with my shame! You've forgotten my scarlet letter and moved past it. Why shouldn't I do the same?

It's taken me this long to grasp all that, so I only have a week to celebrate the crap out of what's about to happen; but you better believe I'm about to get after it. I'm about to marry the boy I've loved since we were kids. Really dumb kids. But we did know one thing, and against all reason, we were right. And I'm going to celebrate that!

From the bottom of my currently defrosting heart, thank you so much for helping me get back to the place where I know what I want, and supporting me in my effort to just go after it. I know in my heart this is how it was always meant to be, and I'm so glad you've stuck with me on this journey.

With all my heart,

Kimberly Yadon 
(Eric thinks I'm changing this to Smith, but he's absolutely insane. Yadon suits me far better than Smith, right? I will also except a family change to Smadon.)


Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 7, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    I am SOOO happy for you three. Wonderful loving family times ahead for the SMadons ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  2. JohnJune 26, 2014 at 8:25 AM

    Congratulations Kimberly! You are truly an awesome person. You are insightful, intelligent, kindhearted and beautiful both on the inside and the outside. You deserve a mate who will appreciate you for the great person that you are and I am glad that you found this person. I wish you both a long and joyful life together. Best wishes to you both! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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