Who knew the best line from the best Christmas movie would also be the perfect parting words for 2016? Or at least the most censored ones. It's no secret this year wasn't my year, and I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'll be sad to see it go.
But I'll be darned if I'm going to skip everybody's favorite tradition: the sending of the December brag book. Or holiday card. Whatever you guys are calling it. Now, I'm obviously not going to send anything. I have cancer, so I don't have to go the post office. But I am going to drag you through the twelve months of Smadon--the highs and the lows. And if you don't like it, well...I'll give you 10 seconds to get your ugly, yellow, no good keister off my property.
Low: The time they made me go through this training. Twice. Because no one can predict the future.
Low: The Broncos made it to the Superbowl.
Low: Brrrr.
Low: Moving back into my parent's basement. (To be fair, my mom made me amazing iodine-free food, and I got to watch The People vs. OJ Simpson, so it wasn't that low.)
Low: Sneezing my way through riding lessons. Thank goodness Gigi doesn't have allergies!
Low: When all your hair is gone and you can't blame it on the cancer. #cancerisnotgeneticbutbadhairis
Low: The "low" here is how low we stooped as parents. This place was awesome and we took a two day road trip to get here. So...when they told us we shouldn't swim because the water had high levels of some ridiculously dangerous bacteria in it, we were like...yeah...we're just gonna go ahead and bury our kid in it.
Low: Discovering our daughter is not the next Simone Biles.
Low: Falling in love with a stray neighborhood cat. In someone else's neighborhood.
Low: Sugar crash. The lowest of lows.
Low: How low can you go, America?
Maybe just one more picture of the high to cleanse our palette.
Low: Letting Ayana hang glass ornaments. In the words of Kevin's Uncle Frank: "Look what you did, you little jerk."
And there you have it. We did a little thriving and a lot of surviving this year. And I guess that's more than good enough, isn't it?
I really want to end this post with a modification of Buzz's iconic words: "2016, I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass." But that's a low, and I want to go high.
So I'll leave you on this note, the final verse of Oh Holy Night (as sung by Old Man Marley's granddaughter). Take it from this old heathen, you don't have to believe in Him to make love your law and gospel in the coming year.
Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
But I'll be darned if I'm going to skip everybody's favorite tradition: the sending of the December brag book. Or holiday card. Whatever you guys are calling it. Now, I'm obviously not going to send anything. I have cancer, so I don't have to go the post office. But I am going to drag you through the twelve months of Smadon--the highs and the lows. And if you don't like it, well...I'll give you 10 seconds to get your ugly, yellow, no good keister off my property.
January
High: I caught this feral child near the pantry. Wearing zero sleeves in January.
Low: The time they made me go through this training. Twice. Because no one can predict the future.
February
High: I got the biggest balloon of all time.
Low: The Broncos made it to the Superbowl.
March
High: Her.
Low: Brrrr.
April
High: Discovering this ethnic Raggedy Ann doll.
Low: Moving back into my parent's basement. (To be fair, my mom made me amazing iodine-free food, and I got to watch The People vs. OJ Simpson, so it wasn't that low.)
May
High: Graduating preschool! Top of her class, and by top I mean tallest.
June
High: This handsome fella graduated nursing school and made us all cry as the elected speaker for his class.
Low: When all your hair is gone and you can't blame it on the cancer. #cancerisnotgeneticbutbadhairis
July
[Rocky Mountain] High
Low: The "low" here is how low we stooped as parents. This place was awesome and we took a two day road trip to get here. So...when they told us we shouldn't swim because the water had high levels of some ridiculously dangerous bacteria in it, we were like...yeah...we're just gonna go ahead and bury our kid in it.
August
High: First day of kindergarten!
Low: Discovering our daughter is not the next Simone Biles.
September
High: First trip to the beach with a best bestie!
Low: Falling in love with a stray neighborhood cat. In someone else's neighborhood.
October
High: Getting our smoke and drink on with zombies outside the windows.
Low: Sugar crash. The lowest of lows.
November
High: This isn't just the November high, it's the 2016 high. Our Moosh officially became Ayana Tsenat Yadon-Smith. |
| Photo Credit: The wildly talented Colie James. |
Low: How low can you go, America?
Maybe just one more picture of the high to cleanse our palette.
 |
| Did I mention that Colie James is amazing? |
December
High: Our second annual trip to see Smokey Bear and cut down a real Christmas tree.
Low: Letting Ayana hang glass ornaments. In the words of Kevin's Uncle Frank: "Look what you did, you little jerk."
And there you have it. We did a little thriving and a lot of surviving this year. And I guess that's more than good enough, isn't it?
I really want to end this post with a modification of Buzz's iconic words: "2016, I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass." But that's a low, and I want to go high.
So I'll leave you on this note, the final verse of Oh Holy Night (as sung by Old Man Marley's granddaughter). Take it from this old heathen, you don't have to believe in Him to make love your law and gospel in the coming year.
Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
LoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLove
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this? You seem to take after your dad in Christmas greetings😉
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