A Monday Sermon [Most Likely Read By Choir Only]

So...who's tired of all those pictures of ladies at the march on Saturday?! I mean seriously, why does my precious facebook feed have to be inundated with all this empowerment bullshit? I'm a lady, and I am empowered. And my experience speaks for us all, so if you could kindly shut up that would make me a lot more comfortable.

Hey there, choir :) Anybody out there feeling a little deflated by that crummy feedback? Or maybe you're not deflated, but you're sure wondering what you could possibly say that would be peaceful, but also somehow stuff those jerks' red hats down their yappy maws? Yeah...me too.

Last weekend I took a non-violence training to prep for any possible rowdiness at this weekend's event or any other I may bring Ayana to, and I learned something that changed my brains. I learned that my goal (in situations like a rally gone rowdy) should be to remain safe. I know that's a total duh for some of you, but not for this rabble rouser! My goal is pretty much always to make sure I've made my point loud enough that people will miraculously change their minds. Similar to when people yell at non-native speakers when they want them to understand something. Foolproof plan.

Now I know that facebook isn't a protest-gone-riot. But sometimes it feels like it. So I've tried (admittedly a little unsuccessfully) to apply what I learned for real-life situations to my virtual world, and keep myself safely away from all those posts that make me want to holler. The flaw in that plan, of course, is that I'm a writer. So will you forgive me if I just say what I need to say right here? I know I'm just preachin' to the choir, but getting an amen or two never hurt anyone.

So here it is:

When I hear you say that you've never experienced these issues, and that's why you don't support your sisters as they march, my instinct is to feel hope. Hope that you've seen something different, which means something different does exist. Hope that you're moved to speak your truth, rather than bogarting someone else's struggle. But there's the rub, right? Because the struggle does exist, even if you haven't been affected by it personally. And that's why your aggressive lack of support rankles. Because:

I'm so relieved that you've never felt the sting of racism. That you've never been avoided on a playground or spoken to like the child of a criminal. But my daughter has.

I'm so happy your kiddos weren't deeply disturbed by the story of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s death. That they didn't take it personally. But mine did.

I'm so glad you've never listened to people cry out in support of a wall to stop immigration, and wondered if that means they hate you too. But my daughter will.

I love that your identity isn't in question, that you'll never have to wonder if you came from a Muslim family; and if you did does that mean you belong on a list? But my daughter will.

I'm comforted knowing you've never been sexually assaulted. But I have.

I'm surprised that you've never feared the white men who desperately want to control your reproductive organs. And pleased that you've never been diagnosed with a disease that spells certain disaster for any child you may carry, but must also take medicines that interferes with the only birth control your body will tolerate (and insurance will pay for). But I have.

I take genuine pleasure in knowing you're not a walking preexisting condition. But I am.

That's us. We recognize the significant struggles of other communities, but we won't claim them as our own. We will, however, march beside them in solidarity because we don't have to experience the struggle to be affected by it.

When the rapper Lil Wayne said he didn't believe in racism because he'd never personally experienced it, a tiny part of my heart applauded him because he spoke his truth and he didn't appropriate a pain he didn't know. But the bigger part of my heart threw something at the TV because how dumb can you be to assert that racism doesn't exist just because it's not your problem?

Don't be a Lil Wayne. Don't smugly dismiss millions of women coming together globally in peaceful protest of issues that really do exist, just because they're not your issues. Issues that will be exacerbated by an institution that wishes to perpetuate them for their own gain, and a constituency that wishes to sweep them under the rug because shameful truths are hard to face.

Be a you. A person who has been privileged enough not to face the issues many of us are up against, and can lend your hand, your support, and your positive outlook to those who are living a different reality right now. Cool?

There it is, choir. There's my sermon. I know you didn't need to hear it. But I appreciate you tuning in anyway.