Not every topic in the world is made for blogging, right? I mean, I think we can all agree my rant about spiders was pretty much for me, although I did appreciate the input from my readers. I'm obviously not the only person alive who feels a pretty serious aversion to the creepies and crawlies; I'm just the only one boring enough to write about it.
Whatever. A swing and a miss.
But here's the thing. I think I've hit on a topic with universal appeal--something everyone is going to want to read about. I'm sure it's obvious to most of you already just what that topic is; but for the rest of you stragglers...
glutenfreesingles.com
If you have trouble separating out those words to make some kind of sense, lemme help. Gluten Free Singles. Dot Com.
Now let me just say something right now. I am the world's BIGGEST fan of the gluten free bandwagoners. I know people are (inexplicably) annoyed by these folks who choose a GF lifestyle; but not me! As a lifelong sufferer of Celiac disease, I am thrilled to no end to see GF food gain popularity. And flavor. And textures other than "I just ate a mouthful of beach."
So GF faddies (not to be confused with fatties or foodies), I salute you. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Because of you, the last five years of my life have been the first five that I've been able to enjoy every meal without dire consequence. You are truly heros.
But really. I mean come on now. A whole dating website geared exclusively toward your (my) digestive needs? Isn't that a little indulgent? And unnecessary? And absurd? Why yes. Yes it is.
I get it, guys. I really do. You've got Christian Mingle and J Date and Black People Meet and the one with the two gray hairs, yukking it up in the convertible. So yeah. There are just too many fish in the sea (see Plenty of Fish's site), and you need a way to narrow it down. You've got better things to do than wade through countless responses from all those Catholics when all you want is someone with whom you can light the menorah. What over-fifties man wants his inbox flooded with mail from those pesky twenty somethings?
It is nice to know you have something in common with the person you're dating though, right? Especially if you're setting yourself up for what are essentially blind dates. In a very uncomfortable situation, I begrudge no one the comfort of a connection over ideals or heritage or generational norms.
So I love GF bandwagoners, and I totally get why people using dating services might choose a more exclusive format than the old Plenty of Fish approach. But guys! Isn't singling yourself out based on your eating habits a good way to, you know, stay single?
I know better than most how important a GF environment is. Such is my level of sensitivity, I cannot even use common pans in the kitchen without consequence. My makeup and shampoo are gluten free, and that's not a lifestyle choice. Even going to these lengths, my body continues to revolt. It's literally the nature of an autoimmune disease. Or diseases, in my case.
Guess who is more annoyed by all those problems than me? I mean, no one. But I bet if you were my roommate or my fiance or even just my friend, you'd get real tired of it. Real tired. Now think it through, GF daters. Do you really want to do that to each other?
Do you really want to spend your days one-upping each other on levels of sensitivity, or arguing about the merits of the perimeter diet vs. the GF substitutes? Are you really prepared to share your bathroom with someone? Do you really want to double the annoyance factor for all your friends by adding a second sensitive tummy to the table?
I guess that last one won't be a problem for you guys. According to the website, glutenfreesingles.com isn't just for dating. You're also going to be able to hook up with gluten-free acitivity partners and glutenfree groups in your area! Yay!
Can I just make one teensy request, GF singles? Could you please, for the love of heaven, refrain from procreating? I'm not prepared to deal with a whole generation of children wearing "Don't Feed Me...Anything" onsies. I just can't imagine having to add something to my syllabus about the decorum of bringing Mommy to class because you're still breastfeeding.
Whatever. A swing and a miss.
But here's the thing. I think I've hit on a topic with universal appeal--something everyone is going to want to read about. I'm sure it's obvious to most of you already just what that topic is; but for the rest of you stragglers...
glutenfreesingles.com
If you have trouble separating out those words to make some kind of sense, lemme help. Gluten Free Singles. Dot Com.
Now let me just say something right now. I am the world's BIGGEST fan of the gluten free bandwagoners. I know people are (inexplicably) annoyed by these folks who choose a GF lifestyle; but not me! As a lifelong sufferer of Celiac disease, I am thrilled to no end to see GF food gain popularity. And flavor. And textures other than "I just ate a mouthful of beach."
So GF faddies (not to be confused with fatties or foodies), I salute you. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Because of you, the last five years of my life have been the first five that I've been able to enjoy every meal without dire consequence. You are truly heros.
But really. I mean come on now. A whole dating website geared exclusively toward your (my) digestive needs? Isn't that a little indulgent? And unnecessary? And absurd? Why yes. Yes it is.
I get it, guys. I really do. You've got Christian Mingle and J Date and Black People Meet and the one with the two gray hairs, yukking it up in the convertible. So yeah. There are just too many fish in the sea (see Plenty of Fish's site), and you need a way to narrow it down. You've got better things to do than wade through countless responses from all those Catholics when all you want is someone with whom you can light the menorah. What over-fifties man wants his inbox flooded with mail from those pesky twenty somethings?
It is nice to know you have something in common with the person you're dating though, right? Especially if you're setting yourself up for what are essentially blind dates. In a very uncomfortable situation, I begrudge no one the comfort of a connection over ideals or heritage or generational norms.
So I love GF bandwagoners, and I totally get why people using dating services might choose a more exclusive format than the old Plenty of Fish approach. But guys! Isn't singling yourself out based on your eating habits a good way to, you know, stay single?
I know better than most how important a GF environment is. Such is my level of sensitivity, I cannot even use common pans in the kitchen without consequence. My makeup and shampoo are gluten free, and that's not a lifestyle choice. Even going to these lengths, my body continues to revolt. It's literally the nature of an autoimmune disease. Or diseases, in my case.
Guess who is more annoyed by all those problems than me? I mean, no one. But I bet if you were my roommate or my fiance or even just my friend, you'd get real tired of it. Real tired. Now think it through, GF daters. Do you really want to do that to each other?
Do you really want to spend your days one-upping each other on levels of sensitivity, or arguing about the merits of the perimeter diet vs. the GF substitutes? Are you really prepared to share your bathroom with someone? Do you really want to double the annoyance factor for all your friends by adding a second sensitive tummy to the table?
I guess that last one won't be a problem for you guys. According to the website, glutenfreesingles.com isn't just for dating. You're also going to be able to hook up with gluten-free acitivity partners and glutenfree groups in your area! Yay!
Can I just make one teensy request, GF singles? Could you please, for the love of heaven, refrain from procreating? I'm not prepared to deal with a whole generation of children wearing "Don't Feed Me...Anything" onsies. I just can't imagine having to add something to my syllabus about the decorum of bringing Mommy to class because you're still breastfeeding.
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