And by ladies, of course, I mean the wives and girlfriends of professional football players, who are enjoying watching their men beat other men for a change.
OK. That was a cheap shot. Even though abusive footballs players have been dominating the news lately, they probably don't dominate the field. I think we all hope the majority of NFL players treat their partners with dignity and respect, and exert their physical dominance only on their professional opponents.
We hope.
But what do we really know about intimate partner abuse? Did we know this?
"The more than 11,766 corpses from domestic-violence homicides between 9/11 and 2012 exceed the number of deaths of victims on that day and all American soldiers killed in the 'war on terror.'"
That's just in America. That's just men killing women. And that's just women with whom men have had an intimate relationship.
Please don't even get me started on what goes on off our home turf, where "women worldwide ages 15 through 44 are more likely to die or be maimed because of male violence than because of cancer, malaria, war and traffic accidents combined." Although I disagree heartily with two-time Pulitzer Prize winning, human rights champion Nicholas D. Kristof's decision to eschew the oxford comma, the man speaks truth.
But back to our own stadium. Back to our own stats. Sure, if America was in a worldwide DV league, we'd be the Chiefs--we're never taking home the championship ring. But we're IN THE LEAGE. You, me, and everyone else who continues to allow an industry like the NFL to thrive, knowing we're making heroes out of men who have no real accountability when they make these "mistakes."
I'm guessing I don't attract a younger audience than myself, so I think I'm safe to drop the name OJ Simpson without giving much context. I say OJ and you see Johnny Cochran, Marcia Clark, a bloody glove, and a Ford Bronco. You see the NOT GUILTY verdict and then years later, the published book, If I Did It: Confessions of the Killer. By OJ Simpson.
You see it, but do you see it? Do you see that he got away with it because he was a professional athlete? Do you wrap your head around the fact the NFL is an industry that creates an impunity bubble around murderers?
It's an industry that contributes to a culture in which 11,766 casualties are not attributed to a "war on women." We treat each incident of abuse, we treat each death as an anomaly. We act like OJ is the only one. And Ray Rice is the only one. And Jovan Belcher is the only one. And and and.
We act like we don't all have access to this information: domestic violence accounts for 48 percent of arrests for violent crimes among NFL players, compared to our estimated 21 percent nationally. We act like those arrests lead to legitimate punishments for the crimes committed.
And we're wrong. The pattern is quite clear. You don't want me to throw more statistics at you because they hurt. Just engage with what you know is true:
Some men in our country play professional football, and some of those men are endangering and victimizing women.
If you're a woman, try getting mad about that, OK?
If you're a man, try getting mad about that, OK?
We all need to be mad about that. We all need to take a good look at the industries we support and what they say about us. What behaviors are we tacitly endorsing by allowing these industries to stay their course?
Listen. I know this was a crappy thing to do on a Sunday. The games just started and I've dumped a huge guilt trip on you. I'm actually sorry about that because I don't want you to feel guilty! You don't beat your partner (I hope), and you don't cheer on the men who do. It's not the NFL's fault there are crappy men out there, and it's not your fault either. Those men are responsible for their own heinous actions.
So don't feel guilty. Just feel aware. Feel aware of those truths that we try to forget about because they make us sad and angry. If you can be sad and angry about your football team's performance, you can feel sad and angry about the safety of the women you love.
OK. That was a cheap shot. Even though abusive footballs players have been dominating the news lately, they probably don't dominate the field. I think we all hope the majority of NFL players treat their partners with dignity and respect, and exert their physical dominance only on their professional opponents.
We hope.
But what do we really know about intimate partner abuse? Did we know this?
"The more than 11,766 corpses from domestic-violence homicides between 9/11 and 2012 exceed the number of deaths of victims on that day and all American soldiers killed in the 'war on terror.'"
Rebecca Solnit
That's just in America. That's just men killing women. And that's just women with whom men have had an intimate relationship.
Please don't even get me started on what goes on off our home turf, where "women worldwide ages 15 through 44 are more likely to die or be maimed because of male violence than because of cancer, malaria, war and traffic accidents combined." Although I disagree heartily with two-time Pulitzer Prize winning, human rights champion Nicholas D. Kristof's decision to eschew the oxford comma, the man speaks truth.
But back to our own stadium. Back to our own stats. Sure, if America was in a worldwide DV league, we'd be the Chiefs--we're never taking home the championship ring. But we're IN THE LEAGE. You, me, and everyone else who continues to allow an industry like the NFL to thrive, knowing we're making heroes out of men who have no real accountability when they make these "mistakes."
I'm guessing I don't attract a younger audience than myself, so I think I'm safe to drop the name OJ Simpson without giving much context. I say OJ and you see Johnny Cochran, Marcia Clark, a bloody glove, and a Ford Bronco. You see the NOT GUILTY verdict and then years later, the published book, If I Did It: Confessions of the Killer. By OJ Simpson.
You see it, but do you see it? Do you see that he got away with it because he was a professional athlete? Do you wrap your head around the fact the NFL is an industry that creates an impunity bubble around murderers?
It's an industry that contributes to a culture in which 11,766 casualties are not attributed to a "war on women." We treat each incident of abuse, we treat each death as an anomaly. We act like OJ is the only one. And Ray Rice is the only one. And Jovan Belcher is the only one. And and and.
We act like we don't all have access to this information: domestic violence accounts for 48 percent of arrests for violent crimes among NFL players, compared to our estimated 21 percent nationally. We act like those arrests lead to legitimate punishments for the crimes committed.
And we're wrong. The pattern is quite clear. You don't want me to throw more statistics at you because they hurt. Just engage with what you know is true:
Some men in our country play professional football, and some of those men are endangering and victimizing women.
If you're a woman, try getting mad about that, OK?
If you're a man, try getting mad about that, OK?
We all need to be mad about that. We all need to take a good look at the industries we support and what they say about us. What behaviors are we tacitly endorsing by allowing these industries to stay their course?
Listen. I know this was a crappy thing to do on a Sunday. The games just started and I've dumped a huge guilt trip on you. I'm actually sorry about that because I don't want you to feel guilty! You don't beat your partner (I hope), and you don't cheer on the men who do. It's not the NFL's fault there are crappy men out there, and it's not your fault either. Those men are responsible for their own heinous actions.
So don't feel guilty. Just feel aware. Feel aware of those truths that we try to forget about because they make us sad and angry. If you can be sad and angry about your football team's performance, you can feel sad and angry about the safety of the women you love.
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