I Want to do Men's Work Because I'm Tired of Making Soap

A list of ridiculous things (sans context) said in the past few days:

Don't order the meat soup ever in Iceland. Get the sand wedge.
Never trust a man who wears a cape.

Give me all your forks. All your forks are belong to us.

I just need a couple more paychecks.

You know, birds used to hit my parent's windows all the time, and they always looked like angels. But this one doesn't look very good.

He's the face of the wildfire. Who would make him the face of anything? He's the face of large teeth. (Response): He's the beard of the wildfire.

If she's not pregnant by the time she rounds sixteen, she's just not trying.

Sometimes girls are done having fun and they just want to struggle.

I was born to be a triangle.

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